kurt s diary
by Klainer19
Summary: one day kurt decides to start a in him on his adventure of finding love,true friendship...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

Here I am, in the middle of a history "class" , and I say "class" because this is more like a second recess, no one pays attention to the teacher, they just talk and shout like a bunch of wild Animals and the teacher just writes the topic on the board and sits on her desk.

I think she resigned a long time ago that no matter what she does ,nobody is going to care, so she just sits there .I copy whatever is on the board and use the rest of the time to do my homework ,except today ´cause I ´m using to write in my new diary (this diary).

I bought it yesterday .I never had a diary before so I´m not sure what to write, even use the word "diary" sounds weird …. I think I´ll start calling it D ,yep D sounds better than diary.

Uuuugh! Why do they have to be SO noisy? Can´t they stop screaming? Just in this class I have heard who´s dating who, who's worried about being pregnant,who´s worried about have made someone pregnant and a lot more. It´s like if they wanted the world to know that they slept with this super hot guy/girl or they just got a new cell phone or something, but guess what. NOBODY CARES! I wish they got that.

The teacher´s coming so I´ll stop writing.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

I think i should introduce myself, but I´m not sure cause,l like I said before,this is my first diary ever so I´m kind of new at I´m Kurt hummel,I´m 15 years old,I live in Lima Ohio,I love Vogue, fashion and design and I also love to sing and I have a high-pitched voice ,I know I don't like the usual things boys like but that's who I am.

My dad is Burt ,he´s a mechanic in a store he owns,my mom died when I was 8,it´s been me and my dad ever since. I should also mention that I may be gay,but I'm not sure, I'm a freshman at McKinley high school(which I hate) everyone in that school is a jerk…or a bitch,so far I haven´t met a single person who has an IQ longer than their shoe size and the ones who have it are just too hypocrites .

You must have already deduced that I am an outcast and an easy target for bullies ,for example, like a month ago I got pushed against the lockers and I ended up with a huge bruise on my shoulder .

I can´t wait to get out of here. I plan to be a Broadway actor or a fashion designer and in order to do that I MUST get into NYADA which is the best Dramatic Arts school and is in New York (yay).

I think I tend to write in class, I should stop doing It cause I just realized I have no idea what the class is about or what the previous class was about .

The bell just rang so mmm …bye?

* * *

hi! this is my second fic and I hope you enjoy it .

I´m from Mexico so sorry if there are spelling mistakes.

and also if you want to see something in the fic let me know and I´ll write it .(as soon as i find out how to read the coments,I´m new here) ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

OMG. Okay Kurt relax, just breathe. shit I think I forgot how to breathe.

Remember what I told you about me being gay? Well, now I'm a 100% sure I'm gay.

I´ve always been different from all the other boys, and I know it ,D , but I never thought I was gay,I know what you must be thinking "HOW THE HELL YOU DIDN´T KNOW SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" but let me tell you, when I was a little boy I used to be very affective to another boy, but I thought it was normal at that age, then a few years later ,I started to think of other guys, especially celebrities, like how muscular they looked and how would they look shirtless and things like that and I just thought (or wished) that it was me wanting to look like them not me having a crush on them or something .

But today,today I've come to the conclusion that I'm gay .no matter how hard I try and I´ve tried so so hard, really, I just can´t think of girls the way I think of boys. lately I've been looking at the girls´ boobs and trying to think straight, trying to imagine them naked and stuff but every time I do it I just … I can´t. I even bought a playboy and with all those girls in provocative postures, guess what happened. NOTHING HAPPENED. Then I thought "well maybe I'm bisexual "but if I was Bi I should have felt something while watching the playboy but I didn´t .so I googled … something and then I felt like this electric current running through my body and I realized I'm gay and I don't know how I feel about it, I'm not happy but I'm not sad either ,it´s just too many questions

How will my dad react when I tell him? How am I gonna tell him? Will I ever find love? And if I do will I get to walk with him hand in hand without being burned alive? I mean I live in lima Ohio! People here think thieves are better than homosexuals. Will I ever be accepted? And no one can answer them, I'll have to find out when the moment arrives.

But something I do know is that straight, bi or gay (gay) Kurt Hummel is never giving up, if I have to move to another place in order to be accepted and loved for who I am not for who the want me to be ,I´ll do it. I will not let someone else's stupidity stops me from being me.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Today´s been a good day. I got slushied, I was thrown in to a dumpster and I'm hiding in the bathroom right now, but a good day nonetheless ,let me tell you why.

The Spanish teacher (Mr. Schue I think) is going to open a glee club! And of course I'll audition for it. I know that me being in the glee club is going to make me even more a target but like I said before no one´s stupidity will stop me from being me, so in a few hours I will be auditioning with " ".

Oh! And I stopped writing in class, that´s good ´cause now I understand the homework and now I know what the class is about.

Again I'm in history class, I know I said I wouldn´t write while I'm class anymore, but the teacher left us so I'm making use of my time. Here´s why she left:

The class started as always, when we walked in the topic was already on the board, but this time when we were in our sits, she stepped in the front of the classroom and said "mmm guys? I know that I haven´t …been a good teacher …..but…mmm… I …. want to ….." but I never found out what she wanted because at that point she realized that nobody but me was paying attention to her so she stopped talking ,went to her desk closed her eyes and stood up again but this time she started explaining what was on the board ,but again nobody was paying attention to her and then she started to cry and ran out of the class and you know what? Nobody even noticed she had left, they just kept talking like if nothing had happened, and here I am feeling bad for her ´cause I know what it feels like to be ignored, treated like you´re nothing and I wish they realized how much they hurt people´s feelings.

I am in recess, eating a sandwich, a little nervous about my audition ,I know I am the best of the best but anything can happen .what if don´t get in?...nah it couldn´t happen could it? Here are the others who are auditioning as well:

Artie, Tina, Rachel, Mercedes . I hate Rachel, the others are okay I guess but Rachel, she pisses me off! She is so loud, like extremely loud and she always wants to be in the spotlight and she´ll do anything to get what she wants, I can´t stand her.

I better go practice, the audition is in 1 hour .wish me luck!

My audition was good, okay it was amazing! I reached the high note easily I just hope that schue has the common sense to accept me because without me they´re lost, sorry but is the true ,face it.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

My relationship with my dad isn´t like the best father-son relationship ever ,is just good. He is a mechanic as I already told you. Sometimes I help him in the store but not very often. I like cars I just don´t like to fix them because I always finish all dirty and with disheveled hair and let me tell you that my appearance is the most important thing in the world, I don´t let anyone touch my hair and I have a very strict night-time skin care routine ,anyways when I help him I just hand him the tools he asks for.

I remember one time when my dad asked me to help him to change a car´s wheel and I had to push something(I don´t remember it´s name) down then pull it up then down then up so that the car would be raised and he could change the wheel, but I was nine years old and that damn thing was way too hard and heavy for me and I couldn't lift the car. I just ended up all sweaty with sore arms and I couldn't move the next day .And that was the last time I really helped him ,but that day I learned something : never help your dad, okay no, I learned that you shouldn't try to lift cars when you´re nine.

Note: that thing he used to lift the car is the jack .

* * *

I got in glee club! Yaaay,I mean I knew I'd get In but it feels good anyway. but I also have bad news ,Rachel got in too ,now I'll have to be with her in rehearsals and stuff, when I think about it I want to quit glee but I really like to sing and if I have to be with Rachel berry to sing I'll do it. The other ones made it as well ,that's good ´cause I won´t have to be alone with Rachel ,but I don't talk with them much ,maybe I can befriend Mercedes, she looks nice, a little diva but nice.

* * *

WORST DAY EVER!

It all started with me getting up in the morning and as I walked towards the bathroom I past in front of a mirror and saw… A MONSTER, yes a monster and the worst part is that it was ON MY CHIN ,and I don't know why it was there ,I have a very strict skin care routine, I don't eat junk food, I work out, that pimple had no right to be there! I did what I could trying to hide it and it was pretty good actually, you could barely see it, I tried to be optimistic ,at least I wasn't going to school alone.

When I arrived a slushie said "hi" to my face, so I went to my locker grabbed some spare clothes and walked towards the girls´ bathroom(yes I said girls', it's just that the sinks in there are bigger than in the boys´ bathroom, and I feel safer there). I finished cleaning my face and hair, changed my clothes and when I was coming out of the bathroom someone yelled "fag" and another person said "finally using your bathrooms Hummel" everyone stared at me and I just walked away trying not to cry .

After P.E ,while I was in the shower, some jerks stole my clothes and left nothing but my underwear ,I wanted to cry again. the bell rang and everybody left ,but I of course stayed how was I supposed to find my clothes without anyone seeing me half naked? they could be anywhere and when I was thinking about get out in a towel the door opened and Mercedes came in with my clothes in her hands ,I thanked vogue and was about to hug her or something but I saw her lowering her head and staring at the floor and I remembered that I was in boxers so I took a towel and covered myself. she handed me the clothes and said that she had heard those Neanderthals saying that I was going to have it rough and things like that so she followed them and found my clothes ,I thanked her and she smiled and left.

While I was getting dressed I thought I did like Mercedes . But do you think it would be too awkward if I start showering at the girls´ locker room?


End file.
